Well first off I have to start by telling you that I had pretty much hit rock bottom in December of 2013. Emotionally,Spiritually and most of all Physically. I was at my highest weight that I have ever been which was 485 lbs., 15 pounds shy of 1/2 a tonne, 500 POUNDS people!!! Wow! What can I say, I was the prime example of an emotional binge eater! I was hating my life and feeling overwhelmed at work, stressed out and feeling completely alone (even though I had family who loved me, I just didn’t love myself).
I remember experiencing at that point, being tested for high blood pressure , which I did end up having(NO SHOCKER there right?! ) and the doctor wanting to put me on blood pressure medication to help bring it down(I never did succumb to taking any, thank God for that) I also had edema (which is swelling caused by excess fluid trapped in your body’s tissues) in my ankles and legs so bad that I could hardly wear shoes at the time because my feet were so swollen as my body was trying to protect itself from all the eating of inflammatory foods I also had huge issues with my sleeping patterns at that time. I never was formally diagnosed with a sleeping disorder but I knew I would wake up at least 15 times a night to adjust my position of how my body was able to just stay “comfortable” through out the night.What that meant is that I could only sleep on my sides due to the size of my body, if I tried to sleep on my back I would wake up because I would stop breathing because the fat in my neck would obstruct my air ways and because I had a huge stomach there was no way I could lay on my stomach and be comfortable. So my only option was the side and with that came the numbness that I felt in my hips with putting so much pressure on them while I tried to sleep hence the reason I had to toss from side to side just to keep the pain at bay in my hips at night. Needless to say,I averaged most nights at the most 2 solid hours of sleep per night! I also remember myself barely able to walk a block without huffing and puffing and sweating profusely!
My diet consisted of lots high sugar content, processed foods, refined carbs, etc… any type of food that was bad for you,you name it, I pretty much ate it! A typical “binge” day for myself would be me having no problem packing down 2 family size chocolate bars, a bag full of 5 cent candies and a large pizza! And to wash it down with a 2 litre bottle of diet coke! Wow right?! What a horrible, unhealthy way to treat my body and live my life, actually I truly wasn’t LIVING, I was just barely SURVIVING at that point. I was eating myself to DEATH!!! It was an eye opening experience to finally look back and recall what was really happening to me because of the choices I was making!!!
My mindset was one for the books…I had no self-esteem, NONE, which lead to no self-worth which lead to no self-love! It caused me to self-loathe and self-sabotage in a way that would leave me in a constant state of turmoil and hate for myself which poured out to all those around me to! At times, I could pretend and put on a happy face when needed but majority of my life consisted of true self-hatred at what and who I had become! I felt like I was living in someone else’s body not really knowing how to fit in anywhere! I became very reclusive and stayed at home most of the time because I had alienated most of the people in my life because I didn’t love who I was, so why would anyone else love me?!!!
I remember saying to myself in December 2013, on my time off I took between Christmas and New Years that I needed to drastically change my life or I am going to DIE!!! That was my TURNING POINT where I decided enough was enough!!! I came upon a life coach who I know now was sent to me through divine intervention because I felt that I needed someone who was going to provide the love, support and tools to help change me and allow me to become the person I am today, but not coddle or say “there, there, it will be ok “,but someone who could tell me the honest truth about how to change me with showing me from a loving place what I needed to let go of and what I needed to do to change aspects of myself for the better! I thank God daily for my mentor/Life Coach and now my friend, Jesse Brisendine!
So I embarked on a 2 year journey with him to help me work through my emotional baggage and weight loss transformation! He brought me to a place where I felt like my true authentic self for the first time in my adult life! I began seeing amazing self-love and self-confidence come back into my life and was able to let go of Jesse’s professional one on one coaching help in 2015. I was seeing what was possible for my life and I knew that this was just the beginning of what was possible for my new and improved self!!!
I know that my health was on the right track but needed a bit more push to get me to where I felt I could see the results I knew I deserved. At this point,I was down 185 pounds and and over 65 inches total lost from the beginning of my transformation! As I said, I was 485 pounds and my waist circumference was hard to measure as a normal measuring tape didn’t cut it…my waist was 68 .5 but my belly(it hung lower then where my belly button was) it measured in at a whopping 75.5 inches!!! So this was when I had my sister, another human being in my life who has helped me transform into who I am today, tell me about the FitLife Coaching program she saw and instantly thought of me because she knew my passion was to become an advocate for health and what better way to do so is become a health & wellness coach and help others along their journey the way I have had help along mine! I knew I was capable of giving that back to the world in full confidence because I had lived each and every moment of what it was like to become who I am today! So I started the process of becoming a certified FitLife Coach and took the 90 day Transformation Program and saw amazing results because of it! It not only allowed me to loose 25 more pounds, which brought me over the 200 pounds lost so far and brought me to a waist circumference of 47.5 and lower belly measurement of 55! I know my weight loss journey is not completed yet but that is the true gift of this program, is knowing the tools I have learned with this program is what it takes to help me move forward in my weight loss journey and will continue to do so. I can now share and duplicate for others, this program, and with that I know I can help them on their journey at succeeding with their health goals too! I think the biggest lesson I learned through this process so far is to celebrate your wins as you come to them in the journey and not wait to celebrate at your destination. I find that when you allow yourself to celebrate small victories it opens your mindset up to what is truly possible for yourself and your well being! It allows you to see your progress and know you are getting the results you want!
I know that for me, my day to day routine has drastically changed since I started my weight loss journey. When I was in my “old frame” of thinking , which I call STINKING THINKING, I would wake up from a very unrestful sleep and be already in a state of unhappiness because I chose to see life as being unfair and miserable. I would barely have enough time to wake up and get in the shower and put myself together before I had to head to work which meant me waking up at 7:30am and being at work at 8:00am. Sometimes I would eat breakfast and some days I wouldn’t! Now fast forward to today and what my normal morning routine consists of is… I usually wake up at 3:30am in the morning and be at the gym by 4am (that has changed a bit for me as of recent gym hours) and I would come home by 5:30am and do what I like to call my “Happiness Plan” for the day.That includes 20 minutes of visualization/meditation (to help reset my mindset to where I want my day to go) and then I write in my Gratitude Journal at least 5-10 things I am grateful for and read for at least 20 minutes from a personal development book I will be reading at the time and top it off by saying my daily prayer for the day! Then once I am done with my ritual of my HAPPINESS PLAN, I would make myself a healthy nutritional breakfast and leave some time for me to communicate with my online TRIBE that I have been so blessed to have on my social media platforms! It has been a huge change in mindset for myself and it has brought amazing value and lasting change into my life!
If I could share ONE thing to help those reading this now that are stuck or scared, is take ACTION on what your gut is telling you and believe in yourself enough to move forward with that ACTION step! I think once you see that you have the capability to make your life the life you are meant to live then nothing will stand in your way, not even FEAR!!! You can always use FEAR to motivate you to take action which will lead to the results you want! Never give up on your dreams and YOURSELF!!! You truly are worth the investment!!!
One of my favorite juice recipes that I use on a regular basis to help me see the changes I want in myself is this one: