Can we talk about FOMO for a second?
(fear of missing out)
It shows up randomly for me.
And I’m embarrassed to be admitting this,
because I know I have a spectacular life.
But to be completely honest,
I feel FOMO too.
Popping up at random times.
No matter how amazing your life becomes,
I don’t think we’re ever completely immune from FOMO,
because ego likes to convince us all that there is something to be afraid of at every turn.
FUCK YOU EGO.
So I’ll be doing my thing, working on whatever is on the schedule for the day, and I’ll see something pop up on social media that triggers me.
Ever been there?
Suddenly I feel like I’m missing out and everybody is succeeding without me and who the hell did I think I was???
It’s a very discouraging place.
You’d think logically speaking that FOMO would make you want to work harder and get more accomplished,
but rarely is that the case for me.
FOMO makes me want to quit.
FOMO makes me feel like I’m wasting my time.
FOMO makes me stop taking action and start stressing instead.
It’s literally the least productive energy in the world for me.
So I have three strategies for dealing with FOMO –
really, three questions to ask myself when it pops up.
1.) What is it that I really want here?
Often, FOMO is revealing to us a desire –
typically a desire that stems from an emotional need that is not being met.
So for example, if we feel lonely, and we need more human connection in our life, we see a picture of a party on Instagram, and we feel FOMO – which is really just our desire expressing itself.
We feel alone.
We want friends.
We desire human connection.
Do you see how we just shifted that from fear to desire?
There was a desire beneath the fear.
We can’t do anything productive coming from a place of fear.
BUT if we acknowledge our desire,
we can create something new. 🙂
Is it that you want a romantic partner?
Maybe you want more visibility or media opportunities?
You wish your business was doing better?
That you had different clients or more clients showing up?
Maybe you’re just struggling with self love and wishing you could change things about you that you don’t like?
Bottom line is,
you have to start by getting clear on your desire.
THAT IS WHERE YOUR POWER LIES.
There’s a reason in all the stories we have about Jesus,
he began by asking people,
“What do you want?”
Have you ever answered that question for yourself?
2.) Am I getting distracted by a dream that doesn’t belong to me?
One of my mentors taught me a powerful lesson about dreams and suffering and why they often go together for so many people.
He said, “We will always suffer when we chase dreams that belong to someone else.”
SIT WITH THAT.
It’s not enough to just be chasing dreams in your life.
Like, yes that sounds inspirational and wonderful,
but do you realize –
you are 100X more likely to succeed at something that is actually in alignment for you than something that is not.
STOP CHASING DREAMS THAT DON’T BELONG TO YOU, LOVE.
Sometimes, we feel FOMO about stuff that we don’t even want.
You don’t even like those people.
You have no desire to build that kind of business.
You didn’t want to be at that party.
You wouldn’t have enjoyed that event.
You know beyond a shadow of a doubt that is not your calling.
But you’re still sitting there scrolling social media feeling like you are somehow lacking or incomplete without it!
Don’t let yourself get distracted.
There’s a reason we started with #1.
You will only know the difference if you have already done the work to get clear on what you actually want.
Most of the time, if we’re getting distracted by things that don’t even reflect our deepest desires, it’s because there’s something in our own lives that we are choosing to ignore.
Which brings me to question #3 …
3.) Is there something I am avoiding?
We rarely feel FOMO at a moment when we are genuinely fulfilled, doing the work we are called to do, and staying in the flow.
Normally, it happens when we are procrastinating OR dreading something OR discouraged about something OR afraid of something.
That gives our ego a perfect opportunity to be like,
“OVER HERE! LOOK OVER HERE!
This is what you really need!
If only you could be doing this right now!”
So ask yourself that difficult question:
Is there a conversation or a task or an investment or a decision or a next step of any kind that you are avoiding?
Because as long as you stay in a place of avoidance,
the FOMO is going to be especially bad.
Let me put it to you this way:
You most likely know what your next step is.
If you don’t,
you can fix that quickly –
listening to your intuition,
being honest with yourself,
talking it through with your coach or mentor.
So in a weird way, even then,
you know what the next step is –
do what you need to do to stop being stuck, yes?
Until you take your next step,
you are not going to move forward.
And yes, it is going to suck when everybody around you is moving forward and you are avoiding the one thing you know will move you forward because on a conscious and subconscious level you don’t feel ready for it.
But do you see how clear the answer is here?
You don’t need to think about it some more.
You don’t need another massage or round of hot yoga.
You don’t need to run it by 7 more friends.
You don’t need to find another book to read.
YOU NEED TO TAKE YOUR NEXT STEP.
Obviously, there’s a reason you’ve been guided to it.
That is the step that will take you to the next level.
So don’t let the FOMO get to you –
get back to what you are called to do.
Because here’s the truth.
THEIR next step would not work for you anyway.
Your own success is dependent upon your own alignment.
There’s something powerful about STAYING IN YOUR LANE.
I always thought that was a cute expression,
but then I talked to one of my friends who actually ran professionally gave me a different perspective and talked about the literal necessity of staying in your lane for a runner.
We all saw this principle at work in Olympic swimming this year.
Literally you don’t have time to worry about what’s happening to your left or to your right, because it will SLOW YOU DOWN.
The people who win are the people who stay in their lane.
This is why I’m always calling you to be 100% honest with yourself about who you are, about what you want, about your real vision.
You’re never going to succeed being a copycat of someone else.
EVER EVER EVER.
Stay in your lane.
Get excited about your lane.
Get to know your lane inside and out.
Find reasons to be grateful in your lane.
Make the best of your lane.
Invest in your own experience in your lane.
Have the most fun possible in your lane.
THIS IS HOW WE FIGHT FOMO.
THIS IS HOW WE CHANGE THE WORLD.
Ready to take your next step?
We’re waiting for you to shine.